The Circle of Crime

I can only imagine and study what it would be like to have a parent behind the bars in jail. What mixed emotions must be felt. Angry, embarrassed, sad, upset, infuriating. The crime/ mistake that puts the parent into the position is what most likely decides the feeling. How does a child maintain a seemingly normal life in such a situation?

In a recent episode of This is Us I watched, one of the main characters, Randall and his wife just took in a foster child. This foster child, Deja, was returned to foster care because her mother was incarcerated. Deja goes from having a mother in and out of jail to being thrust into a household, a family, who is very well off. This 12 year old's world was dramatically changed in a matter of hours.

A parent is someone you look up to. Someone whom you trust, care for, and from whom you learn about life. When this parent is dealing with bigger problems- may it be domestic violence, a drug addiction, gambling, whatever- the child gets put on the back burner. The child is forgotten. This greatly affects not only the child, but society.

This child who has no role model as a parent is pushed to find a role model or to figure out life for him/herself. Instead of looking up to a parent to learn about the world, the child tries on his own. The child may experiment with drugs, abuse alcohol, or join a gang. One thing these all have in common is the feeling of being part of something.

A gang offers a child the "family feel" of having someone to depend upon. Drugs and alcohol may numb the pain that is felt with not having anyone. Or maybe the child turns to a significant other who is also dealing with pain. Often these coping mechanisms lead to greater pain. Addiction, disgust, violence, crime.

Crime. Right back to it. It is a circle. Like parent, like child or however the saying goes. This circle of crime affects not only the family, but the community and ultimately society. How do we stop this awful circle?

I wish there was a one stop answer to the problem. But there are so many variables and factors in each situation. Sometimes the answer is foster care. Sometimes the answer is rehabilitation. Sometimes the answer is therapy.

The best way we can stop this circle is support. We cannot just ignore this circle or make it a part of life. If we want to stop this circle then we have to take a stand. Be there for these children predisposed or at risk of entering the circle. Be understanding, be patient, and be willing to give of yourself to make a difference.

#thefamily