Do we need Divorce?

I'll admit right away that my parents are still married. I'll also say that I am fortunate and grateful and blessed that I was raised in a two parent household where my mother and father both loved me tremendously. Divorce is actually something that is still foreign to me. Very few of my friends have divorced or separated family- so many that I can use one hand. Thus, I have little experience and knowledge about divorce. Yet, I feel I can still have an opinion on the matter.

I may not be married, yet I know marriage is difficult. It is hard to commit yourself to one person for your entire life. Just living with another person can be difficult. Add in shared finances, children, friends, sickness..... it just gets more challenging and difficult. Not all these challenges can be planned or expected before marriage. Sometimes ya know, life happens.

A divorce can occur for many, many reasons. It can be disagreements. It can be the realization that they no longer want to go through life together. Or a more serious problem such as cheating or abuse.

Let me back up for sec and go out on a rant. I don't like divorce. I think it is overused and occurs when adults don't want to work problems out. Part of this belief is because I'm Catholic and I believe marriage is for life. However, I also realize that abuse and cheating and addictions are real. And these problems can ruin a marriage as well as ruin a life. The solution for when they problems occur after marriage (not known before) is an annulment. An annulment dissolves a marriage. Often a situation is annulled because the marriage was not valid in the first place, such as a secret by one of the members unknowingly to the other.

In our society I feel like marriage is not taken seriously. Love is not taken seriously. People do not get married because they love the way the other person makes them feel or thinks the other person is cute. No. Love is an action: it is a commitment to give of yourself freely to the other. To sacrifice. In a marriage it is no longer about yourself, but about the good of the other. The goal of marriage is to get each other to heaven. It reflects the Trinity: two members give of themselves through love to produce another.

My point is that divorce should not exist. If marriage is done properly than going into it the couple should be aware of possible problems. Big items such as finances, children, career goals, and more should be discussed before commitment to each other for life. Grey's Anatomy gives excellent examples of this: if children were discussed before each one of Owen's marriages than that could have saved him so much time. Communication should be established early to prevent trouble later. Prevention is key.

Like i said previously, life happens and sometimes problems occur despite one's best efforts. Marriage counseling is definitely a good option to help a couple through difficulties. Prayer should be involved throughout a relationship and especially so in times of trouble. Sometimes you just must trust that God has a plan for you, And finally, an annulment is always there. I'm not promoting staying in an abusive relationship- there is a way out of such situations and one should never stay in a harmful situation longer than necessary. Fight me with this, but I don't divorce is necessary in a society where we have free will and take love seriously.